When you tell people you're having twins, one of the first things they automatically tell you is it's double the laughter and double the love.
And in your head, you probably reply that it's double the diapers and double the work.
I'm a fraternal twin, and I'm also a mother of identical twins, so I can vouch that all of these things are true.
But there's one part of having multiples that I wish other parents had told us about before our twins were born.
But there's one part of having multiples that I wish other parents had told us about before our twins were born.
There's a whole different side to having twins that you don't consider or truly understand until you're raising your own set of twins and living it every single day.
It's something no one really talks about, but they should.
Because it's something you need to prepare for when you're raising two at once—or when you're babysitting or caring for two at once.
If you know about it ahead of time, at least it gives you a bit of a heads-up for what's to come instead of taking you by surprise.
Yes, having twins means twice the love to soak in.
Yes, having twins means twice the mouths to feed.
Twice the giggles.
Twice the financial strain.
But the thing no one tells you about is that it's also two sets of hands that can pinch each other without any warning.
That can pull each other's hair or grab each other's faces when you turn your back for a mere moment to grab their milk.
It's one twin playing happily and having no idea that the other twin threw a block to see what would happen, and you looking up as it's sailing across the room toward their sibling and the structure they just proudly finished building.
It's one twin confidently preparing to take their first step down the stairs after the baby gate's been removed while you stop the other twin who's racing toward the threshold and looking like they're about to push their twin as they take that first step without realizing what would actually happen.
When you have twins, it's not just twice the work or twice the love.
It's also having to constantly run interference and anticipate situations that would never come up if you had a singleton.
The difference between a singleton and twins
When you have a single toddler, you can hang out together or plop them down to play, and whatever happens, it will unfold and you can handle it.
When you have twin toddlers, they don't just automatically sit down and act like built-in best friends (but when those moments do happen, they're pretty spectacular).
More often than not, having twin toddlers looks like wanting to sit them next to each other to play nicely and hoping they get along, but realizing that, sometimes, they need to be separated in order to make sure they don't fight or inadvertently hurt each other in the moments they're trying to navigate big feelings.
Do they still gravitate toward each other and get along? A lot of the time, yeah.
But, also a lot of the time, they gravitate toward each other and push, or pull, or punch, or throw things at a, sometimes, unsuspecting sibling.
Though, sometimes, it's at a sibling who was egging their counterpart on (not that it makes it okay).
It's having two children who both want 100 percent of your attention but only being able to give them each 50 percent, unless one is napping or sleeping in while the other one is awake with you. While rare, those moments give parents of multiples a glimpse at how things might have been different if they had been born separately as singletons.
Two for one
If you ask most parents, whether they have one or two or more kids, they'll tell you that they would do it all over again or that they wouldn't have it any other way.
Like those parents, we love our twins and everything they'd brought to our lives, and we also wouldn't have it any other way...except for maybe having an extra pair of hands (or two) to help level the playing field.
So, if you're expecting twins or know someone who is, spread the word: Yes, it's double the good stuff. And yes, it's double the tough stuff. But what they don't tell you is that it's also needing to be prepared to anticipate the moments when your twins won't get along—before those moments happen.
While you can't read your children's minds, you can get pretty darn close, and sometimes, that's all the warning a twin parent needs to swoop in.
Of course, you can't be everywhere all at once.
For those inevitable moments when you swoop in too late, turn them into opportunities to teach your toddlers about forgiveness and resilience. You'll be surprised at how quickly they learn to adjust, adapt, and move past stressful stages.
What do you wish other parents of twins told you when you found out you were expecting multiples? Let us know in the Comments section below or connect with us on Instagram to share your thoughts!
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