Twins share a unique bond. One that likely stems from the very beginning, when they share a not-so-unique space.
Their living quarters start out extra-roomy, but as they grow, things begin to get quite cramped.
Eventually, they're nudging and elbowing each other in utero until they come into this world (sometimes, that nudging and elbowing continues long after they have ample space).
After that, they'll pretty much be side by side for the next decade, doing almost everything in tandem.
From sharing a womb to sharing a room, your twins will be used to having a partner by their side for every stage of life. They'll be used to each other's antics and used to each other's company long before their first birthday.
They'll graduate from their bassinets to their cribs side by side. They'll navigate toddler beds and upgrade to big kid beds, and whether that's also done side by side is up to you as parents.
Every set of twins is different, and every family will make this decision based on what works best for them.
Every set of twins is different, and every family will make this decision based on what works best for them.
Some twins wake each other up in the middle of the night and the only way for everyone to get sleep is to get your twins set up in separate bedrooms.
Other twins get lonely and won't go to sleep without one another, so the only way for everyone to get sleep is to keep them close to each other in a shared bedroom or nursery.
Our twins have become very used to sharing a bedroom and have never asked about having their own rooms.
There have been nights when we've woken up from one of them crying out, and have tiptoed to their room to assess the situation, only to walk in and hear one saying, "I need your help" to their twin.
There have been nights when we've woken up from one of them crying out, and have tiptoed to their room to assess the situation, only to walk in and hear one saying, "I need your help" to their twin.
Knowing they understand to ask each other for help if they're scared in the middle of the night makes me realize how close they already are, and I don't think they're going to want to be separated anytime soon.
But, sometimes, there are very valid reasons for giving your twins their own space and getting them set up in two different bedrooms.
Reasons to separate your twins
Once your twins are out of the womb, if they disturb each other or interrupt one another's sleep—and if you have the space to do so—you might consider giving them their own separate rooms.
Not only will they be able to get a better night's sleep in their own quiet quarters, they'll be able to retreat to their room, their own private space, for quiet time if they need to take a minute to reset or reregulate.
They'll also be able to decorate their bedroom in their very own style to truly make it their own.
This allows them to further embrace their unique personality and individuality, which is important when you're a twin who "comes in a set of two."
This allows them to further embrace their unique personality and individuality, which is important when you're a twin who "comes in a set of two."
Having their own space gives them a chance to learn about independence, allowing them to feel confident in their own abilities and less dependent on their twin counterpart, especially if one twin tends to lead the way and the other is happy to follow.
It's important to remember that if you decide to give your twins separate bedrooms, it doesn't have to be a permanent decision. Sometimes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and your twins may decide they were better off together.
There's no reason they couldn't have storytime together or sleepovers in each other's room every now and then, or they could permanently set up camp together once again.
While it might be a big job, moving your twins back into the same room would free up space in the other room for a designated playroom or their own little library.
Reasons to keep your twins together
If your twins get along and want to do everything together, there's no need to separate them.
Keeping your twins in a shared room might work best for your family and your household, and if so, embrace it.
Having them share a room gives each twin a friend and a confidante for playtime and allows them to continue growing their bond as siblings side by side.
Overnight, a shared room gives your twins instant relief from separation anxiety because they wake up and see they aren't alone.
And, once they're old enough, they can comfort each other if they wake up afraid in the middle of the night.
Advice on room-sharing from a twin
Like my children, I am a twin myself, and I'm absolutely pro-bedroom-sharing.
I liked sharing a room with my twin for the first several years; we shared a room up until we were 11, and then my brother got his own room because, well, kids grow up and eventually want privacy from their siblings (read: their oh-so-many sisters).
I had one glorious year of having my own bedroom, and then, because I have three siblings in all, bedroom arrangements got shuffled. My two other sisters and I all played Musical Bedrooms, and I ended up sharing a room with my middle sister until after I graduated from high school. I eventually got my own room again, and it was just as great the second time around as it was the first.
But, during the time my twin brother and I shared a room, we shared most of our moments.
We bonded over things big and small. We joked around and were silly together and whispered away to each other long after bedtime.
We bonded over things big and small. We joked around and were silly together and whispered away to each other long after bedtime.
We shared secrets, we kept each other out of trouble, and we learned to protect one another from the cruelness of other kids.
We had each other's backs. We had a closeness that only comes with being a twin.
That's one of the reasons our twins share a room.
As they've been getting older, we've been talking about possible bedroom configurations and asking them if they want to share a room or have their own rooms.
So far, they both still want to share a room, which is nice.
If, down the road, they decide they want to have their own space, we can figure that out.
For now, I'm happy to keep watching their relationship and their bond grow as they get bigger every day.
Do your twins share a room or do they each have their own space? Let us know in the Comments section below or connect with us on Instagram to share your thoughts!
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