Number 1 & Number 2 Times Two: How to Successfully Potty Train Your Twins

It's a moment you're likely dreading as a parent of twins. Potty training.

More specifically, potty training two at once.

Because you've probably heard the trials and tribulations of fellow parents who've been in the throes of potty woes, and now you're getting ready to experience what it's like in double-time.

It might feel scary, but this major milestone can lead to growth and positive change.

Just don't jump in unprepared because that can be overwhelming, which could quickly drag you down.

If you take the time to strategize and plan ahead before it's actually go-time, you'll have a better idea of how you want to tackle this process when it's time to potty train your twins. Being ready is half the battle and can help contribute to a manageable and successful outcome when it's time to finally ditch those diapers.

The best age to potty train twins

Every kid is different and there's no specific set-in-stone timeframe for jumping on the potty training train.

In general, potty training experts suggest your children are probably ready to train sooner than you think, which can help them learn quickly. Some suggest the sweet spot for starting is between 20 and 21 months, before they begin to question things or how to defy you. Others say the ideal age range is somewhere between 20 and 30 months.

When you wonder if it's time to start potty training your twins, consider whether they were born prematurely, as their actual age vs. their adjusted age may impact their readiness.

Keep in mind, if your twins were born prematurely, there may also be additional developmental delays related to the growth of their bladder, pelvic floor, bowels, and even their central nervous system and how it ties into their ability to use the potty.

In some cases, you may just need to be patient and wait for them to be a bit older before trying to potty train them. That doesn't mean you have to wait until they're older to introduce them to a potty training chair. Just seeing it and allowing them to sit on it or get used to the idea of it being around can help make the transition easier when it becomes a daily part of their routine because they'll already be familiar with it.

If you try the below potty training methods within the above-noted timeframes and you run into problems, it's possible they're just not developmentally ready yet and need a bit more time yet, before they're ready to break into the bathroom.

If you've been seeing some success with potty training but then run into more than the odd accident, pay attention and try to pinpoint why they're happening, so you can provide the support your twin(s) need.

Accidents can be triggered by big (read: stressful) events, like welcoming a new sibling, traveling, moving to a new home, starting at a new school or having a new and unfamiliar teacher, or dealing with an illness.

Nighttime accidents can be brought on by nightmares or even medical issues, like pediatric obstructive sleep apnea, which can be caused by enlarged adenoids (other syptoms to watch for include snoring, nasal congestion / runny nose, sleeping with the neck hyperextended, and frequent wake-ups overnight), so if the accidents are a persistent problem, it could be worth bringing up to their pediatrician for further investigation.

Best method for potty training twins

There are different methods you can try when potty training your twins. Two of the most common are the Potty Training in 3 Days and the Oh, Crap! methods.

The three-day method is intense but teaches your toddlers the gist of going to the bathroom in an efficient way, while recognizing that practice makes perfect. The Oh, Crap! method focuses on portraying the pottying process while also preventing power struggles along the way.

No matter what method you go with, try not to stress. Are accidents going to happen? Yes. Are they fun to clean up? Absolutely not. Are accidents going to be done on purpose? No, that's why they're called accidents. So, try not to be frustrated if things doing go as perfectly as you hope they do.

The last thing you want your toddlers to associate with the bathroom is anger, fear, or worry. Because that can lead to an irrational fear of going to the bathroom, which will lead to unhealthy habits that can cause bigger problems from holding in their pee or becoming constipated because they want to avoid the bathroom at all costs.

Instead, try to make the learning process fun. Let them know how things work (what they have to do when they feel they have to go). If you get excited over even the small things, like recognizing, even if it's too late, that they felt they had to go, your twins will get excited, too.

That will help them feel comfortable and confident as they enter this new stage.

TwinsyTwins Shop

Potty Training in 3 Days: The Step-by-Step Plan for a Clean Break from Dirty Diapers by Brandi Brucks

Personality-Based Approach

This book is written by potty training consultant and behavior specialist Brandi Brucks, who has helped potty train children as young as 21 months old up to four years old with her specialized method. This book offers different approaches to her three-day potty training method, depending on each of your children's particular personality types, whether they're strong-willed, silly, laid back, or a perfectionist.

• See at Amazon

TwinsyTwins Shop

Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right by Jamie Glowacki

Advice to Prevent Power Struggles

This helpful guide is written by potty training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who's helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers. This book gives you her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers while avoiding frustrating power struggles along the way.

• See at Amazon

Dos and don'ts

When it's time to start potty training your twins, you'll want to have a consistent plan and a steady routine in place, so that your toddlers are getting the same information from any and all caregivers while they're learning how to use the bathroom, which is totally new and different from what they're used to up until this point.

Potty training boys vs. girls

I talked to several parents of twins and singleton toddlers about their potty training experiences and if they found any difference between their experiences with boys vs. girls, and the consensus was that it's not really harder to train one over the other; it's more about everyone being their own individual and having their own personality.

It's about whether they're ready or more willing to learn, whether they have older siblings they might see using the potty before them, and then finding the right way to get the concept through to them when the time is right.

There was no clear preference between using potty chairs or a potty seat insert for the toilet based on whether they were training boys or girls; it was a mix between the two based on parent preference and what the twins had seen older siblings do when it was time for them to go potty. Of course, if you have boys, you'll want to consider a potty chair or seat that has a built in splash guard to prevent unexpected streams from straying beyond the confines of the toilet.

In the early days, potty chairs can allow your twins to go to the bathroom without much of your help and can remove the fear factor they might have when they think about the big toilet.

Potty seats that sit on the big toilet seat can allow you to skip the potty chairs (and emptying / cleaning them), but require more vigilant supervision to ensure they don't fall or lose their balance.

What worked for us was having them use the potty chairs until they got used to the process and were confident in knowing when they had to go and being able to get to the bathroom before it was too late.

If you're debating between one or two potty chairs, invest in two. We absolutely needed two in order to ensure we didn't run into a situation where we had to decide who had to wet their pants because that's not fair to anyone, especially if they're trying to get to the potty in time.

Once everybody was comfortable with the logistics and mechanics, we started using the potty seat and step-stool at the big toilet every time they had to go, unless they specifically asked for the potty chair. Before long, the potty chairs were sidelined and the big potty was their usual go-to.

Every night, we would make sure to incorporate at least one potty book into the bedtime story line-up, so they had a consistent reminder to go for one last pee break before bedtime.

• Potty training twins supplies list

There are a few things you'll want to get ahead of time, so you aren't scrambling the night before you decide it's time to start potty training.

• Potty training method book (The 3-Day Method or the Oh, Crap! Method)
• Two BabyBjörn potty chairs
• A hamper
• A sturdy step-stool for the big potty and washing hands (we love this one by DreamBaby) for reaching the potty and this one by DreamBaby for reaching the sink to wash hands
• Big boy / big girl underwear
• Pull-Ups for naptime and overnights
• Stickers for decorating their potties
• Wipes (Lysol and baby wipes)
• A small garbage can / bag or diaper pail for the bathroom
• Toilet paper to rip into tiny pieces while they're busy sitting, gets them to sit longer
• A sturdy potty seat insert for the big potty (we love this one from Munchkin; we started with just one for upstairs but now that it's our twins' go-to, we also have one for downstairs)
• A fun soap bottle that is just for them to make washing hands fun (we put a truck sticker on a regular pump and it took washing hands to the next level)

Getting set up for success

First things first, unless your entire home is vinyl or plank flooring, you're likely going to be reconfiguring your main hangout area the night before you start potty training.

You want to close off any carpeted area that could get stained during the next few days. We blocked off one entrance with a couch and the other hallway by sliding over a bookshelf with toys from the living room. This left us with free reign of the dining room, hallways, laundry room, bathroom and kitchen for mealtimes.

Plenty of room to play, no problem if we ran into accidents along the way. This new area kept them entertained and excited, rather than bored of being corralled into a spot they normally don't hang out in for more than a few minutes at a time.

Before you introduce your twins to this new area, be sure to childproof any closets or cabinets that aren't already childproofed. You're already going to be extra busy watching both kids for accidents or signs they need to go to the bathroom, you don't want to also be worried about them squishing fingers in a closet door or suddenly throwing all of your clean towels onto the floor or realizing they can unleash half-a-bottle of sunscreen on each other should you blink for more than a split-second.

On the first morning

Before your twins wake up, plan to put your pets in a different penned up area for these few days, if possible.

If this isn't doable for the entire day, try to have them in a different area for at least a few-hour chunks of training in the morning and after their nap because breaking up unexpected toddler / animal interactions while your kids are going diaper-free is one less thing you need to worry about.

We put our cats in the basement, where they had access to their litter, food, and water, and we could shut the door at the top of the stairs to keep everybody separated.

The new corralled area will be enough of a surprise when they wake up, so don't immediately tell them you're ditching diapers as soon as they see the area. That'll be too much all at once.

Instead, get everybody fed and satisfied. Then, when everyone's in a good mood, let your twins know it's time to say goodbye to their diapers. We told our twins we were donating the last of our diapers to the Diaper Fairy and told them we were going to use Pull-Ups, which we already used at bedtime, for naptime and bedtime still, and that they were going to get their own big kid underwear to wear during the day.

Because we had planned and knew when we were going to start potty training, we had already given them their own underwear and had them wear a pair on top of their diapers a few times to get used to the idea.

We explained they had to keep their big kid underwear clean and dry by not peeing or pooping in them. They couldn't fully speak yet when we began training, so we told them to tap at their underwear if they felt they had to go to the bathroom.

They were so excited to put on their underwear that they instantly put them on and then grabbed as many stuffies as there were extra pairs of underwear, so that all their plush pals could learn how to use the potty at the same time. When I say ALL their stuffies, I mean it.

We had two potty training books waiting in the wings that we pulled out and read after everyone was in their big kid underwear. One twin preferred Victory on the Potty and our other twin preferred Elmo's Potty Book, so we took turns reading each one and then reminded them every so often that as soon as they felt they had to go pee or poo to run to the potty and that we'd go in there together.

Now, our favorite book about going to the bathroom is Potty by Leslie Patricelli.

When your twins go down for their nap, use that time to get ahead with meal prep and plating for the rest of the day, so you just have to grab and heat plates quickly (this also goes for prepping their cups with milk), so that once they're awake and roaming around, there's no alone time while you're getting meals or drinks ready for them. I did this and it worked wonderfully and it made things monumentally easier.

You can also use this time to do any dishes during their nap, like I did, so you're not distracted with that while also trying to also watch for dual accidents.

Leave laundry until the end of the day, so you can toss in any wet underwear all at once (you may go through several pairs in the first few days). Only worry about getting a load of laundry done while your twins are awake if there's something critical you need before their nap, like their sleep sacks or blankets. Anything else can wait.

Signs they might have to go but don't realize it

You'll already be keeping an eye out for accidents after-the-fact, but you'll also want to try to catch any signs that your twins have to go to the bathroom but might not fully realize it or be able to tell you before it's too late.

Things like: * Nervously laughing when they feel the sensation of having to go pee. * Pulling at the front of their underwear when they're still dry because it probably means they feel a pee coming on. * Hiding in a corner or closet because it probably means they're about to do, or are already working on, doing a poop. * Fidgeting or dancing around when they seem to want to play or focus because it probably means there's an impending poop on the way.

What to do when a scary pee or poop comes along

Remember, this whole pottying process is all new to them.

Yeah, sure, they've been peeing and pooping like machines since the day they were born. But learning how to get to the bathroom before it's too late, or how to engage the right muscles on command instead of just letting the process happen on its own is something they need to learn and practice.

If you notice one or both twins are having issues with peeing or pooping, it might be something to ask their pediatrician about if it's a persistent problem, but in the early days of initiating potty training, there are a few things you can try to see if it helps make them more comfortable with the process.

Remind them how to contract the muscles in their abdomen, just below their belly button, to start going pee. One of our twins needed a gentle reminder on where he'd feel the muscles engage when it was time to go, so I'd tell him that those were the exact same muscles Elmo used when it was time for him to go potty, and it seemed to encourage him to give it a try.

If one or both twins is reluctant to pee on the potty, try slightly different positions for peeing. I don't mean standing vs. sitting, though there ARE toddler urinals you can get for potty training, if you feel so inclined.

I mean instead of just plopping them down on the potty, try having them stand with their legs slightly wider apart on either side of the potty (hold their hands or sides, so they stay balanced), and slowly angle them downward to sit on the seat at a slightly different angle. This was all one of our twins needed in order to feel comfortable sitting and feeling those muscles engage when it was time to go. It took a while to figure this out, but once we tried it, it worked immediately and his confidence with using the potty grew exponentially.

Another way to encourage your twins to pee is by using potty training stickers. Some pediatric occupational therapists swear they've had serious success with getting kids to aim at reusable potty training stickers like these ones, which are black when at room temperature but then change colour to show a picture when they're warmed by pee.

If one or both twins seem reluctant to poop on the potty (if they pee on the potty without any issues but then poop in their pants very soon after leaving the bathroom), they might need to try different positions with their legs or hands to help make pooping easier. Instead of using the potty chair for pooping, one twin preferred to go right to the big-kid potty for pooping. We had a sturdy step stool to help them get into position on the potty and then showed them how to put their feet on the top step, so their legs were hiked up and then they can use both hands on their potty seat insert to help them push and go.

Unexpected things to watch when you're training two

Training two toddlers at once can certainly be tricky. If it's possible to have one adult per toddler, it gives you more eyes and more hands to deal with messy situations, but if you're going to train them alone, be prepared for the unexpected.

Aside from the general rule of getting all caregivers on board with your potty training protocol (actively and routinely going to the bathroom on the potty at specific times, so that they don't forget and go in their pants), there are extra challenges that come with extra toddlers who are training at the same time.

• They may work against you: You'll be helping one get to the potty in time or changing one if you didn't get there quickly enough, and while you're focused on keeping the mess to a minimum, your other twin is taking advantage of the step stool by the sink to turn the bathroom lights on and off and on and off and on and off, which isn't a major problem IF you have a window in the bathroom. But if you're in a powder room with no daylight streaming in, let me tell you, there's no real fear like being thrust into complete darkness while you're precariously dealing with a deuce and can't see what you're doing or where anything is going.

• They may work against each other: They may want to be right in the action when their sibling's gotta go, and they may be all over the map—opening and closing the bathroom door repeatedly while one is trying to have some semblance of privacy (yes, you could lock the door, but that will only result in the other twin sharing their outrage at being alone in the hallway, plus, you want to still be able to keep an eye on both toddlers to make sure they're not getting into trouble) while you're preoccupied with the one who's on the potty.

• They may have different personality types that call for different training approaches: One of your twins may not want overt directions when it's time to learn how to use the potty. If you tell them what to do, you may run into resistance. Try having them choose between two options that give you the same end result (do they want to sit by themself on the potty, or do they want help sitting down?), so they feel like they're in control. On the other hand, you may have a child who will only get excited about going to the potty if you make it fun and celebrate every step along the way, like shouting to everyone in the house, including the cats, that they pooped on the potty, so they can come check it out. In this case, be careful not to cut off the praise without warning, or they might regress once they no longer get special attention.

• They may explore all the fixtures: You may be helping one sit on the big potty and navigate going number one or number two, and their confidence is building, when suddenly, their twin runs in and flushes the potty while they're still sitting and trying to go. And then, while they're wailing in frustration that they didn't get to flush their own pee or poo, the twin who preemptively flushed the potty is proudly patting their sibling's back in encouragement, so you're proud that the thought is there, even if it's not totally realized. You may also run into a situation where, again, you're helping one toddler go, and while they're actively trying to unroll the entire toilet paper roll in record time, the other takes their opportunity to frantically flush and then thrust their hand into the toilet to better-investigate the bowl and water, as it spins its way down the pipe. Or one may toss a toy into the toilet while the other prepares to flush it down in record-time, so be prepared to have reflexes like a cat while they get things out of their system.

• They may grab you when you least expect it: While you're busy helping one twin onto and off of the potty, or cleaning up an accident, you may be pushed and pulled by the secondary sibling this way and that, especially if your hair is long enough to be yanked. Put your hair in a bun so your ponytail isn't being pulled. If you wear glasses, commit to wearing contacts, if you can, so your glasses aren't grabbed off of your face. Remove your earrings, so they aren't snatched when you're crouched low to help them. I've literally had one grab my glasses off while the other pulled my ponytail the other direction. Luckily, the earring incident happened on a different day, or we may have thrown the towel in on training then and there. Anyway, these are real examples that happened to me while training my twins, so help yourself by planning ahead and avoiding these tricky traps. One of my go-to things was getting them to hold the bottom of their shirt, so their hands were preoccupied and, therefore, not free to grab at my shirt, or earrings, or whatever else was within grasping distance.

• They may have their own ideas about the potty: For a while, before we were ready to take on the actual toilet, one of my twins preferred to pee on one training potty and only wanted to poop on his brother's training potty. So, he'd go number one on his, then get up, hop on over to the other potty, and go number two. It made for extra cleaning whenever he went, but since he was embracing the idea of going on the potty instead of in his pants, I went with it. Our other twin went great on the potty for the first couple of days, and then wanted nothing to do with it. We finally figured out that he needed to try a slightly different position for peeing. He still sat down, but instead of fully sitting, he needed to angle himself as he sat, to feel secure enough to let loose. Once he realized he could go, it wasn't an issue anymore.

• They may have a few rough nights of sleep: Potty training is a huge milestone for your twins. They're becoming more aware of their bodies and learning what it feels like when they need to go. If they recognize this sensation while they're sleeping, they might wake up unexpectedly or earlier than anticipated. While the interrupted sleep might not be wonderful, it means they're making the right connections, which is a good thing.

Tips for when you're training and have to go out in public

While it'd be ideal to not have to go anywhere while you're potty training, that's not always possible.

It's easy to plan around a few days at home, but even once your twins learn the fundamentals, it will take them time to learn how to hold their bladders for prolonged periods of time, which means that during trips to the doctor's office, preschool, or even family events, you run the risk of your twins having to go before you get to your destination.

If you need to venture out or just, you know, live life while you're in this magical phase of learning all about bladder control, there are a few things that can help you.

1. Have a portable potty seat in the car for emergencies. A foldable seat like this one by PandaEar is compact and makes it easy to bring practically anywhere (malls, friends' or families' houses, or even on airplanes), so your twins feel more secure when they're in a situation where they have to sit on the big potty and aren't worried they'll fall in.

2. Grab some car seat protectors for your stroller or car seats. This one from CoolBebe is a waterproof liner that will keep their seat dry in the event of an accident. They'll still need a dry pair of pants to change into, but at least you won't have to wash the car seat cover when you get where you're going.

3. Keep a stack of Post-Its with you when using public bathrooms, so you can cover the flushing sensor to prevent the toilet from automatically flushing while your little ones are still sitting on it. Going potty in a new environment will be stimulating enough; they don't need to add an incredibly loud flush out of nowhere to the experience.

Power through the process

The idea of potty training two toddlers at the same time might be daunting, but don't let it deter you.

This major stage comes with growth and positive change for you, your twins, and your household.

Preparing ahead of time can make the process go much more smoothly than jumping in without a plan of action.

That way, when your twins start showing signs of being ready to learn, you'll also be ready to tackle this milestone head-on.

Consistency and positive reinforcement are key and can contribute to a successful outcome when it's time to finally ditch those diapers for good.

How did you potty train your twins? Was there a method you preferred? Did potty chairs or seats work better in your household? Let us know in the Comments section below or connect with us on Instagram to share your thoughts!

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